Winner: Amir Ali (food shock)
Amir Ali appears to be a healthy 37-year old male (in the URL he’s also 39 at the same time). However, this man becomes a withering petal when he bites into certain meat products accidentally. He recently found a random piece of delicious bacon in his McDonald’s chicken wrap, and was apparently ‘shocked’. Yes, shocked. Yes, 37 (or 39). Yes, a man. Apparently he is also in serious fear for his children’s safety, for some unfathomable reason¹.
Ali did blather on about something to do with his religion, or religious texts, or something or whatever, but still – what is happening to England’s menfolk? For their part, McDonald’s issued its legislated Grovelling Apology™, and promised never, ever, ever, pretty please, to do it ever again. Whatever ‘it‘ was.
So come on Amir (if that is your name), stop crying, and eat your wrap like a man. And in future, if your wrap causes you to turn into a frightened rabbit, and you don’t like it, complain to the cashier, throw it aggressively into the trash can, and get another one, like any normal man would do. And whatever you do, stop whinging on about it to the press! Oy!
¹ This Is Oxfordshire, Hannah Somerville; East Oxford Muslim waiter finds bacon in McDonald’s wrap