Under socialism, eventually everything comes last: quality of life, freedom, toilet paper, hair dryers. Like anti-matter and, well, normal matter, socialism and free human beings cannot coexist without a terrible explosion. In über-socialist Venezuela if you run out of things, places, other countries or other people to blame, you eventually need to cannibalize your own to make sense of the catastrophe that a state-controlled economy must inevitably become [see here].

Right now it is Venezuelan people with vaginas that want to blow-dry their hair who are the point of contention [see here]. Although not apparent in President Nicolas Maduro’s proclamation that women should curtail their use of hair dryers, we’re not sure if this applies also to people with penises at this time. Maduro mentioned that he prefers women with un-blow-dryer-dried hair (the “natural” look), but it’s not clear if he also likes to see his men with natural air-dried locks.

Utter socialistic incompetents, like Democrat candidates Bernie “Necessary Token” Sanders, and Hillary “Pant-Suit Screech” Clinton, want free countries to move toward these failed utopias. We therefore need free women (and free men!) with wet or even slightly damp hair to stand solid, to stand proud, against state control of our Infinity Pro Ionic hair dryers!