“This Is Christmas. This Is Manchester”? Correct!

If you thought Hjab Barbie was the in-thing this Christmas season* you’d be half-wrong. In fact, based on what those styling and trending local governments¹ are buying, you’d do well to consider purchasing a brand-spanking new ‘diversity barrier‘. So what are they? Well, they are barriers, placed on roads and sidewalks and pedestrianized areas, so that if a not-so-incluive Muslim goes all SJS (‘sudden-jihad syndrome‘) on the locals, he’ll have to come up with something different than mowing them down with his vehicle.

When it comes to what type of barrier your town or event will need, you’ll need to consider how diverse your town has become since 1985, what levels of animus your event might cause on the Scale Of Islamic Offence & Outrage™ (Christmas markets are a 9/10 for example), and how deeply dependent on Muslim Brotherhood funding your local town council has become.

After that, there’s choices galore! There are crash-rated fences, anti-ram bollards, wedge barriers, vertical lift barriers, anti-ram crash gates, modular vehicle barriers and drop arms. As you make your purchase, make sure you get your diversity barrier rated correctly: even the angriest ‘Allahu Akbar’ shouting jihadi driving 50MPH in a 15,000lb vehicle will only penetrate the impressive M50-P1 by less than three feet!

So get ready for your kids ask, “Mommy, what’s that 10ft, 800lb block under the tree?” Then you can laugh inside as you muse, “They’ll never guess!” Merry Christmas!

* WARNING! Only for use with young girls that have already become ‘too Westernized‘.

¹ Daily Mail, Alex Matthews; ‘How Britain celebrates Christmas in 2017: ‘Armed guards, concrete barriers and metal detectors spring up around festive markets due to terror attack fears’